How we define living well is a first step to better living, and understanding that living is an active verb is an important part of that. Physics gives us the understanding that everything at the atomic level is in motion, and vibrating. By extension, all existence, all of life, is constantly in this vibrating motion, and therefore in a state of continual change.
The pace of this change may be slow or faster, and often it seems sudden, but it’s been in process all the while. This is especially noticeable when we go from what we consider doing well, to misfortune of any kind like financial, physical, or psychological. We generally call those things a loss, because it is related to losing our being well, loss of health, loss of money, loss of peace and calmness, loss of harmony. That throws us out of whack because our innate desire in life is to live well, and we want to get back to that as soon as possible.
Our values and thought systems direct our actions in dealing with unpleasant changes, and how to navigate back to well being. We are not born with a life manual or easy indexed reference guide, and our knowledge at any one time is limited, so we experiment arbitrarily, or we seek the insight and example of those who have navigated these changes successfully. It happens on many levels. Sometimes it’s a mechanical fix, like your car engine shut down, and all you need to do is change the oil, or a belt. Maybe it’s an environmental fix; it’s cold outside, and putting a jacket on returns your sense of well being.
But often the necessary fix is internal, and may not be achievable to the original degree. This is where some people compound their loss, increase pain, and fall short of returning to any semblance of well being, by kind of shooting themselves in the foot. Rather than accept incremental steps on the way back to well being, they take an “all, or nothing at all” stance.
On the physical passing of a loved one for example, the pain of loss is extended when you cannot transcend the single thought that you “just want him back.” Demanding that as the fix for your well being is impractical. The emotional and psychological drives within would like that, but that’s not going to happen in a single miraculous sweep. Being complex creatures, the answers to these situations, the path to returning to well being, is not the broad and gross singular action we’d like.
But incrementally, we can grieve freely, recognize that by our desire they’d still be enjoying life, know that we can summon their presence by memory at will, and step in the direction of our own well being one step at a time.
Well being often relies on our approach to it, turning in its direction, taking little steps towards it, not standing in the place of pain and calling well being to come to you.
Do you believe you need to participate in your own well being? How much do you participate? Take your vitamins, think some scenarios through beforehand, study wisdom teachings, try to help guide others to well being when they are standing in pain, change the oil in your car regularly, recognize that change is inevitable in finances, health, relationships, and machinery. Make your values and thought systems effective guides to your well being, realizing they may need to direct many elements at once.
- Processing pain a little at a time can ease feeling of loss (utsandiego.com)